Family life

Going back to school

When the kids are homeOr on holidayI wonder when I’ll getSome time for myselfTo just rest my headWith nothing to think of When schools are to openThe realisation dawnsMy life is changingOh! What will I do now?Three hours to myselfA long time at a stretch Should I do my shopping?Or meditate instead?Should I write a … More

Holiday

As I recall our childhood summer holidays I hope our kids get to enjoy theirs as much as we did.  The berry bushes in the dense green foliage on the hillocks may now be replaced by concrete buildings and tarred roads but there is still a little forest cover left. The predominantly pedestrian village roads, … More

Why do some see kids as a setback?

I agree that having children inevitably implies that we may have to make some major changes to our lives. But, aren’t changes what brought us to where we are today? Change need not be negative.  We, as a family, are enjoying life. Others need not find our life as colourful as theirs and vice-versa.  I … More

The perfect world of social media

Social media often paints the most perfect picture of the world.We go online to share our accomplishments, fun times, beautiful perfect happy family pictures, selfies on days we look exceptionally beautiful and happy pics with friends. If it is work related then it will only be work we are very proud of.The pictures of our … More

Teaching by example

How do we teach children to respect others’ opinions and views? How do we teach them to engage in healthy debate to resolve differences in opinion?Will ordering them around or physically and verbally abusing them teach them any valuable life skills? Or will we be responsible for training them to be bullies like us as … More

The source of true joy

Is it money, luxury and comfort? Or love, smiles and a warm embrace?What is it that brings true joy? Material things may give us satisfaction.But if we have no one to share it with, then we only get unhappiness and insecurities. On the other hand positive emotions without material comfort,do not loose their ability to … More

Correction

Correction is so difficult for us to accept, even when we know we are wrong. Today I was standing in the way and obstructing the movement of parents collecting their children from school. The security guard, very politely, requested me to move and directed me to a clear spot. I should have been grateful as … More

The beach post sunset

As the sun set, the crowd at the beach cleared out. But there are still quite a few people enjoying themselves. Some, like us, are making an entry. Most might have come for the sunset but do not seem in a hurry to leave. Watching people engage in different activities, in spite of being in … More

An afternoon at the ground

As the afternoon sun shone bright,the kids held one another’s hands tight.They walked along the semi shaded pathway,knowing that the futsal would make their day.Basking in the afternoon suntheir eyes twinkled looking forward to the fun.While I faded out of sight,they moved forward towards the light.I found a shaded path,lest I end up in a … More

Outdoors at last

As I watch the kids play with their neighborhood friends, my mind transports me back to my childhood. It reminds me of evenings spent playing with my siblings and friends in the open space in front of our house as our mother watched over us from the balcão of our Indo-Portuguese house. I remember the … More

Neighbours- a blessing

The neighbours we see in TV shows and movies are inquisitive and busy moral policing. But in reality (my reality) they come to your aid in times of need and want you to join in their celebrations.Be it coming to my aid when I needed a hand at home, or assisting in babysitting when I … More

Be who you want your child to be  

‘Be who you want your child to be’. I believe in this but it is very difficult. It requires one to look not only at but also within one’s self.  Our children not only behave and speak like us but also think and rationalize like us. Many a times, after correcting my child, I have … More

Why should I vote?

There is so much talk about the coming elections and the need to protect our constitution. It has been quite some time since I studied Civics in school. We seem to have forgotten our rights and duties as citizens. Today I’m revisiting the preamble of our constitution that states  “WE, THE PEOPLE OF INDIA, having … More

Decluttering and striving for a perfect home

How many of you wonder how your house seems to be overfull? I do. That too very often. I used to hold back on giving away things as I did not want them to end up in the landfill. Knowing they will find a better home where they will be appreciated makes it much much easier.
Every decision we make, every lifestyle change we adopt affects our children.

The meaning of Christmas

As December approaches, the atmosphere changes. We look forward to “the holidays”…the season of sweets and Christmas carols. We need to remind ourselves that Christmas is because of Christ. I used to wish loved ones “compliments of the season” if I met them after the 25thof Dec. Things changed once I understood that Christmas is … More

Art to de-stress

I found this sketch I had done while I was preparing for my board exams. It brought back good memories. Luckily for my parents, their children did not need to be told to study. I used to get pretty stressed and my mom, the fantastic mother that she was (and is), helped me divert all … More

Parents as a support

Dr. Kenneth Barish, in his book Pride and Joy, addresses the need for parents to be supportive of their kids. He discusses this in the chapter “What Matters Most- Understanding and Support”. Aren’t support and encouragement  important to all of us? Why else do we turn to support groups or befriend those facing similar situations … More

FOLLOWING ONE’S INSTINCT

I completed the 3rd and 4th chapter of Pride and Joy. Both the chapters stress on the need for us to be involved in our children’s lives. The third chapter discusses our role in helping them bounce back from negative events or feelings, making them more optimistic and resilient by helping them understand that every … More

Addressing Emotions in Children with Pride and Joy

Pride and Joy is a must read for all parents. It is a very well written and well researched book based on clinical observations by Dr. Kenneth Barish, a child psychologist and clinical associate professor at Weill Medical College, Cornell University.Parents learn how to raise kids as they go. One is never really prepared for … More

From Good to Great

When my eyes fell on Jim Collins’ “Good to Great” on our bookshelf, I got curious. I remember picking it up to read some months back but could not recall why I left it. This time the title got my mind racing…was the book about ambition? I have often dwelled upon how to raise my … More

It’s Easier to Preach than Practice

When I reach a point of exhaustion/irritation/frustration or the likes, I realise that I have been lethargic in my parenting. If for some reason I stop the home schooling timetable then I find things get out of control. The process to get them on track involves a lot of tantrums and whining.But if you don’t … More

Helping my child overcome her nail biting OCD

I mentioned in an earlier post about working on helping my child (4.5yr old) stop biting her nails. At last we have been successful. It went on for 9 months which have at last come to an end. It would have been impossible without prayer and my mom’s guidance. When we want to be in … More

Influencing people

One thing I have learnt from all the leadership books I have read is that the only way to get people to follow you or do what you want them to do is to make them want to do it. This pandemic has been tough on parents of school going kids. Getting a child to … More

Simon Sinek’s The infinite game

When I read a book on personality development, I keep thinking of how I can implement the learnings into my life so as to raise my children into better human beings, responsible citizens, trusting and trusted colleagues, caring and respectful individuals who will eventually be great assets to society. You may wonder why I’m not … More

A call to love

I’m sure all religions, like Christianity, call their followers to love. When we think of love we tend to think of our family and friends. In the Bible it says that we cannot say we love God if we hate our brother/neighbour. It makes sense. Can I say I truly love my parents if I … More

Charity

 This pandemic has made us all more sensitive towards those less fortunate than us. Many of us doled out money generously, when needed, to those who found themselves in severe financial difficulties.  There are many people who are struggling to find new sources of income as they have lost their well paying jobs. Can we … More

Dealing with infestations

Dealing with lice and worm infestations can not only be embarrassing but also overwhelming, especially if you are unable to find a solution. Pests do not check the social or economic status of their prey😁. They have no favourites.We had a long struggle with lice. It was a nightmare. No matter how often I treated … More

Am I a happy stay at home mom (SAHM)?

I’m happy to say yes. But that does not mean that I do not have my fair share of lows. Of late I am much happier. I no longer miss the fun times at my workplace and the me-time it gave me. I do cherish all those memories but do not wish I could relive … More

Are we unknowingly training our kids to succumb to peer pressure?

Peer pressure is one of the main reasons people are opting for homeschooling. But is keeping our children away from possible negative influences enough? How do we react when our kids do not want to dress in the way we want them to? Do we insist they are suited and booted so that they live … More

Developing children into Ideal Team Players

Patrick Lencioni’s “Ideal team player” is a fantastic read. If you are responsible for recruiting at your workplace then it is a compulsory read. Thanks to my husband bringing it home I got an opportunity to read and reflect on it. Just because I’m a stay at home full time mom, it does not mean … More

Parenting tips I learnt last month (sept-oct 2020)-III

This post is in continuation to my previous post. In addition to the parenting seminar I spoke about in my last post I also got an opportunity to attend a retreat, by Fr. Michael Payyapilli, that made me aware of the consequences of distant or ill informed parenting. It was scary. To think that, by … More

Parenting tips I learnt last month (sept-oct 2020)-II

This post is in continuation to my previous post on what I learnt from Clinical Psychologist Marietta Rodrigues’ seminar on parenting in the 21st century. Life today is very different from when we were children and we cannot expect the same methods to work. All the same we would not want to compromise on raising … More

Parenting tips I learnt last month (sept-oct 2020)-I

September was a very educational month for me. I was lucky to be able to attend a seminar by Clinical Psychologist Marietta Rodrigues that gave me a lot of information on how to handle children positively and what the consequences of distant or ill informed parenting could be. I want to do the best I … More

Guiding or dictating creativity?

This is something I’m still unsure about. I see a lot of parents preparing activities for their kids and they are so awesome and very creative. They teach their kids so many different concepts. I wonder how they do it. My kids seem to know what they want to do and don’t like to be … More

A child’s prayer

I was kind of taken aback last night when my daughter turned a deaf ear to my inputs while she was praying. She usually asks me to pray with her and she did last night too. But she said her own little prayer.  At a time when we are a bit stressed with covid cases … More

Are the “likes” worth it ?

We often receive messages requesting us to like and share a picture or video, more often of a child, to let the person concerned win a round in a competition. Think about it… Is it the art work, photography, beauty, performance or whatever the “topic”for the competition deciding the winner? Or is it just his/ … More

Recession – pray for job security or prepare for job loss?

These are trying times. Many are already out of work. It is easy to say ’employers should pay their employees their full salary.’, but from where will they get the money? The lucky ones who are still holding onto their jobs are clinging onto slippery strings. Should we then mentally and financially prepare ourselves for … More

Is childhood really care free?

As adults we look at kids playing and think “I wish we never had to grow up!” and go back to brooding over our work and financial problems. But are children’s lives really so simple? Do they just have to eat, sleep and play? Let’s start by looking at lives of new borns. They just … More

The best parenting book of all times!

I was looking for a book that would give me a list of things I need to teach my children. Not skills but values. I chanced upon a detailed encyclopedia… a treasure trove of knowledge. Here are some of the values, teachings and principles listed in the book-I have grouped them into 3 categories, namely; … More

Learning about leadership during lockdown

How can a stay at home mom benefit from Leadership books? Well…..we do want to make our children good leaders of tomorrow. Shouldn’t we, as responsible citizens, and primarily parents, be playing a major role in moulding our kids? We are human beings and not animals to just procreate, feed our offsprings till they can … More

Office and home- 2 places or 1?

They say, “leave your work in office and your family problems at home”, “don’t mix your professional and personal lives.” Are we machines to switch modes? When our spouses are mentally preoccupied at home we get upset and tell them to leave their work problems at their workplace but when we or the children are … More

How do I entertain my kids?

I have come across many parents who have asked me how I manage to entertain my kids the whole day. In joint families a homemaker has so much work to do but does not have to worry about entertaining kids as grandparents or cousins or uncles/ aunts are around and more than happy to watch … More


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