Why do some see kids as a setback?

I agree that having children inevitably implies that we may have to make some major changes to our lives. But, aren’t changes what brought us to where we are today? Change need not be negative. 

We, as a family, are enjoying life. Others need not find our life as colourful as theirs and vice-versa. 

I feel that if we did not have kids, both of us would have spent way more time (over time) at work, engrossed in our professional lives. Now we get to enjoy our personal life too- all thanks to the kids.

Regarding, not being able to do things or attend programmes because we have kids (especially since ours is a nuclear family)- We do not assume that we will not be able to attend or participate in events because we have to take our kids along. Our requests do get declined at times, but I’m sure that either the event was not right for us or the time was not. When the time is right it will work out. 

There are a lot of events that the whole family can attend together, so being refused admission at times because kids are not permitted does not matter.

Another thing that some people complain about is kids messing up the house or breaking treasured articles. Are material things so important? I personally prefer a house full of happy voices. And frankly I myself make quite a mess when I’m happy. Pursuing my hobbies makes me happy and with hobbies like art, cooking and gardening there is bound to be a bit of a mess. If a bed that has been slept in is bound to have creases, don’t you think that a house that is lived in will have things ‘out of place’? 

We have grown as attached to the kids as they are to us. Occasionally, if we find ourselves alone for even an hour, I feel incomplete. We enjoy the time we have together but feel kidsick (if there is a term like that)…when they are not around. 

But I also strongly believe that parenting is a vocation. And one should take it up passionately,  with all their heart and soul, only if one has the calling. But once on the journey, which begins at conception, there is no turning back.

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